Making Babies
by Marzi
Summary: Rose uses the wrong euphemism for sex.


A/N Hm.. been a while since I posted something on this site. Anyway, this is a little piece of crack that was originally much more strange, but I'm still happy with how it turned out. I'm not a Rose/10 shipper, nor am I a big Rose fan, so I'm hoping my distaste doesn't color this story.

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MAKING BABIES

Rose decided that she was going to seduce the Doctor. Actually, she'd decided that a long time ago, but now she was going to do it with a much more forward approach. The subtle flirts didn't seem to be working. Neither did the not so subtle ones.

It seemed that Time Lords didn't even have the capacity to fondle a breast if one jumped into their hand. She'd tried that. ("Oh, is that bra on the console yours? I thought Jack was playing dress up again, I'll go get it for you.")

So, Rose decided, tonight was the night to seduce the Doctor. Properly.

For someone who seemed incredibly oblivious to sex the wardrobe held a surprising array of items one didn't find on the wrong side of a locked door. Then again, considering that she now knew there had been many passengers before her, Rose began to wonder what their lives aboard the TARDIS were like. They couldn't have all been like her and Jack. And Adam. And Mickey before he ran off to that parallel world...

Well, if in the past the Doctor hadn't been making his move because someone else had been around, now was definitely the time to strike. They were alone.

Hands trailing down a lingerie rack, Rose smiled when she brushed up again the perfect outfit.  
-

"Ah, Rose, there you are! I was just thinking, well, I'm always thinking- but I was thinking, just earlier that-"

"Doctor," she purred.

"..what I was thinking was- oh, have you got something in your throat? Are you getting sick? Because if you are than I can't-"

"Doctor," she repeated, much more stern.

"-tell you what I was thinking... hm?" He looked towards her, a faintly bemused expression in place.

Rose leaned seductively against one of the TARDIS' columns. "Doctor," she tried the purr again.

"Careful, that material is very thin. Could rip easily."

He couldn't be that thick, Rose thought.

"Why are you wearing that anyway?"

He could, she decided. Rose considered throwing her hands up and admitting defeat as he continued to stare at her, confused, while he scratched the back of his neck.

"Seriously?" She finally asked.

"Seriously what?"

His lost puppy expression kept her from flying into a murderous rage. "Not know when some wants to.. Do it!" She shouted anyway.

"Do what? 'It' is a very ambiguous word, could apply to a lot of things.."

"Make babies." Rose decided to continue with the euphemisms, worried that the word 'sex' might make his innocent mind explode.

"Make babies? Oh that's so dull. And why would you do it in that? You'd be sure to get cold."

Rose knew that the Doctor had a lower body temperature, but it had never really occurred to her before that he might get colder rather than hotter. That seemed very strange, didn't friction create heat? "Well you warm up," she informed him, deciding to understand physics later.

"I supposed you'd need to wear a coat or something.. but I honestly don't see why you're interested in the topic. So tedious and dull. All that paperwork."

"Paperwork?" Now Rose felt lost.

"Yes! Checking your genetic history, writing in all the details, checking the boxes of the traits you want to pass on. Which is just nonsense, I mean the moment the first regeneration hits all that planning goes out the window.."

A chain pulled in Rose's mind and a light bulb came on. "Time Lords fill out paperwork to make babies?"

"Oh yes. Dull process. Did I mention that already? Tedious. Dull and tedious. Tedious and dull.."

"I'm not talking about the Time Lord way. I'm talking about the human way!"

"The human way? That's just messy and tedious. Doesn't last long either."

Her mouth fell open. "You've done it before?"

"Hm? Oh yea, once. Well..for one night. I was wandering around the TARDIS when I found Sarah, you remember Sarah, don't you? And Harry, and I asked them what they were doing and they were polite enough to help me understand."

"Both of them?"

"Of course! Love comes in all forms, I wasn't going to reject either of them. They were very nice about the whole thing, as I recall they seemed to think it very amusing.. still, when all was done I would much rather be working on the TARDIS." The Doctor beamed at her, rocking on his toes. Suddenly he frowned, freezing mid-rock. "Why are you wearing that?"

"ARRG!" Rose threw up her hands and stomped out of the room.


End file.
